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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Spotted on X:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Going viral on Threads:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Spotted on Instagram:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Breaking via Instagram:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about dancing and farewell with playful humor.

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Commentary:
"Who needs goodbyes when you can cha-cha away from negativity! 💃🕺 Good riddance, and hello to better vibes! 🤣👋 #DancingMyWayOut"

dance, expression, farewell, fun, good, good riddance, humor, i, put, riddance

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Aura is the real business card.

32 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Seen just now on Discord:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Spotted on Messenger:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Spotted on X:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Keep the laugh going 😂

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨