Commentary:
Switching from summer goth to autumn goth like a true seasonal fashionista! 🖤🍂👗
205 Funny put quotes
There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.
Commentary:
Just make sure your "boss" doesn't accidentally mention how you used to entertain the whole "office" with karaoke Fridays! 🎤😂
Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?
Commentary:
Achieving this mythical level of productivity deserves its own superhero comic series 🦸♀️🦸♂️🧺✨
Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.
Commentary:
Just imagine the dramatic pause before deciding if the ice cream is worth it 🍦💸🛒
I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.
Commentary:
When I put on my Adam Sandler clothes, my couch automatically turns into the VIP section 🍿🛋️😂
They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.
Commentary:
Looks like the yard's out of milkshake flavor! 🍦🚫🌿
I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.
Commentary:
Sounds like my car might qualify for a gym membership with all that speeding and stopping! 🚗💨🛑😅
I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're ready to floss those fashion skills! 😜💃
Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.
Commentary:
Ah, nothing like paying extra for a change of scenery while your kids perfect their eye-roll game! 😂✈️💸
My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.
Commentary:
Adding cross emoji and Bible verse to internet persona: ✅ Now to leave wholesome comments and spread kindness! 😇🙏📖