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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Live now on TikTok:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Just landed via Reddit:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Seen just now on Slack:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Seen just now on Discord:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Live now on WeChat:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

I put the hot in psychotic.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a thermostat when you've got me around? 🔥😜 Just adding a sprinkle of crazy to keep things interesting! 😈 #HotAndCrazy"

confidence, hot, humor, i, personality, psychotic, put, self-deprecation, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

0

2 months ago

divine, expectation, frustration, God, humor, irony, just, me, paperwork, procedure, say
Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

0

2 months ago

excuse, funny excuse, humor, mom, outside, self-esteem, sorry, ugly
You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

0

2 months ago

anything, better, cancellation, ear, ear protection, earplugs, hear, hearing, humor, i, me, noise, noise cancellation, protection, sarcasm, simply, stubbornness, tell
Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

0

2 months ago

communication, confidence, humor, internet, media, observations, people, social, social media, time, welcome, where, wrong
I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, comedy, hide, humor, i, ignore, ignoring, interest, just, lose, problem, problems, relaxation, stress
Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, best, communication, dating, dating app, good, humor, media, meeting, place, social, social media, soulmate, tweet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

27 shares on X this month:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Spotted on Twitch:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Just shared via Telegram:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I put the hot in psychotic.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨