115 funny hot quotes - Wordgag

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

May 30, 2026

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

May 30, 2026

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

May 30, 2026

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

May 30, 2026

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

May 30, 2026

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

May 30, 2026

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

May 30, 2026

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

May 30, 2026

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

May 30, 2026

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

May 30, 2026

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

May 30, 2026

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

May 30, 2026

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

May 30, 2026

Why do DJs always act like their knobs are hot?

May 29, 2026

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

May 29, 2026

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

May 29, 2026

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

May 29, 2026

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

May 29, 2026

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

May 29, 2026

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

May 29, 2026

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

May 29, 2026

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

May 28, 2026

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

May 28, 2026

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

May 28, 2026

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

May 28, 2026

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

May 28, 2026

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

May 28, 2026

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

May 28, 2026

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

May 28, 2026

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

May 28, 2026

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

May 28, 2026

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

May 28, 2026

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

May 28, 2026

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

May 28, 2026

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

May 28, 2026

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

May 28, 2026

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

May 28, 2026