115 funny hot quotes - Wordgag

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

May 28, 2026

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

May 28, 2026

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

May 28, 2026

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

May 28, 2026

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

May 28, 2026

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

May 28, 2026

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

May 28, 2026

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

May 28, 2026

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

May 28, 2026

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

May 28, 2026

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

May 28, 2026

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

May 28, 2026

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

May 28, 2026

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

May 28, 2026

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

May 28, 2026

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

May 28, 2026

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

May 28, 2026

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

May 27, 2026

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

May 27, 2026

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

May 27, 2026

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

May 27, 2026

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

May 27, 2026

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

May 27, 2026

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

May 27, 2026

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

May 27, 2026

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

May 26, 2026

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

May 26, 2026

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

May 26, 2026

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

May 26, 2026

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

May 26, 2026

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

May 26, 2026

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

May 26, 2026

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

May 26, 2026

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

May 26, 2026

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

May 25, 2026

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

May 25, 2026

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

May 25, 2026