Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.
  • I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.
  • The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?
  • Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.
  • I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
  • Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.