Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Spotted on Discord:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Just shared via Instagram:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Trending via Snapchat:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Going viral on Telegram:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Shared recently on Twitch:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to inspire heavenly panic with nothing but my charm and clumsiness 😇😅

expression, flirtation, God, humor, i, nervous, oh, say, surprise, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

0

1 week ago

before, boss, coffee, coffee shop, complaint, denied, hear, humor, me, music, never, raise, shift, shop, today, wanted, work
Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

0

5 months ago

25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth
Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

0

2 months ago

brain, calling, fit, gen, Gen Z, health, humor, language, lobobo, lobotomy, meme, mental, mental health, slang, z
“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

0

4 weeks ago

brothers, buying, entertainment, entertainment industry, evolution, evolve, future, gill, humor, industry, living, matter, Netflix, none, once, start, underwater, warner, Warner Brothers
When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, gift, holiday, humor, i, irony, myself, say, self-care, shopping, silent
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

0

2 months ago

change, code, humor, i, irony, love, me, programming, source, technology, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

72 shares on X this month:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Going viral on YouTube:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Going viral on WeChat:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Seen just now on X:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨