Commentary:
When true love's knocking but your stomach is doing the cha-cha, the bathroom is your real soulmate! 🚽💞🤣
368 Funny say quotes
People don’t say “hobby” anymore. They say, “I’m low-key autistic, and this is my current special interest and hyperfixation.”
Commentary:
Using all that intense focus to become a master of obscure trivia, one hyperfixation at a time 😂🤓📚
You can just say “okay” when someone tells you to do something and not do it. I learned that from men.
Commentary:
When someone tells me to adult, I just hit them with an "okay" and continue my Netflix marathon. 😎📺 #LifeHacks
The second you put your headphones on, suddenly everybody has something important to say to you.
Commentary:
When you become everyone's favorite chat buddy the moment you press play 😂🎧💬
I saw someone say, “No spoilers for The Odyssey.” Brother, you’ve had 3,000 years to read the book.
Commentary:
Odysseus himself got home faster than you’ve read it! 📖⏳
Men will say, “At least I’m not selling my body,” and then join the military.
Commentary:
Every guy in the recruitment office: "I'm not selling my body, I'm just renting it to Uncle Sam!" 💪😄
I would say I’m pretty chill, as long as I don’t get irritated in any form whatsoever.
Commentary:
When you're chill until someone uses the last of the toilet paper 😅🧻
When I say I feel like Barbie, I mean my hip is making a clicking sound.
Commentary:
Life in plastic, it's not as fantastic as it sounds 😂🦵🔊
Newish parents: teaching your toddler to say “behold” instead of “look” unlocks a whole new level of hilarity.
Commentary:
Behold, the tiny ruler of chaos commands your attention 🤣👶✨
When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.
Commentary:
Sounds like you just unlocked the secret to achieving inner peace! 😂🤐🙏