200 Funny say quotes

• 

  1 day ago

  Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

  Commentary:
  “Pro tip: Use the ‘delay shipping’ option on words! 🚚💨🤭”

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

  Commentary:
  🎉😂 “Sounds like you’re about to break some cake-smashing records instead of laws! Keep up the clean streak! 🎂🚓”

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

  Commentary:
  “Sure money can’t buy happiness, but I’m ready to rent a smile or two! 💸😄 #WillingToExperiment”

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

  Commentary:
  “When I blow out birthday candles, I become a philosopher. 🎂💨🤔”

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

  Commentary:
  “When the mango’s juicier than your gossip… 🤫🥭😂”

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

  Commentary:
  “At least you’ll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl”

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

  Commentary:
  🕺🎉 “When ‘Mazel Tov’ is your biggest vibe, but the rest is just your shower-singing material! 😂🎶 #SelectiveTunes”

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

  Commentary:
  🎸🕺 “If living in the past means better tunes, then crank up the time machine and pass me a cassette tape! 🎶😂 #VintageVibes”

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

  Commentary:
  💌 “Looks like someone’s offering more commitment than my gym membership!” 😂❤️

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

  Commentary:
  “Ah, the classic ‘verbal time bomb’ strategy! 😂💣 Good thing my pillow is a certified therapist! 🛌🧠”

For even more funny say quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny say quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌