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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Going viral on Slack:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Just landed via Messenger:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Just landed via WeChat:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

4 months ago

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless struggle of doing nothing! It's a never-ending quest with no clear finish line in sight. Just when you think you've mastered the art of doing nothing, you realize that there's always more nothing to be done. It's a true test of patience and perseverance, with the ultimate reward being… well, nothing!"

doing, doing nothing, finished, hard, hard work, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, management, nothing, procrastination, time, time management, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Making waves on Threads:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

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