Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Trending via Snapchat:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Just landed via Telegram:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Live now on Telegram:

They expect me to work at work.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Spotted on Slack:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to inspire heavenly panic with nothing but my charm and clumsiness 😇😅

expression, flirtation, God, humor, i, nervous, oh, say, surprise, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

2 weeks ago

allowed, asking, authority, bathroom, believe, childhood, hell, i, life, memory, permission, school, sometimes, spent, teacher, told
If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

3 days ago

fish, humor, i, ID, pun, seaweed, smoking
It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

1 month ago

bad, Bob, Bob Ross, boss, character, choice, fictional, fictional character, humor, irony, mob, mob boss, never, nice, ring, ross, too, violence, wake, wake up, woke
In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

1 month ago

acorn, acorns, autumn, collection, creature, creatures, humor, nature, playfulness, squirrel, squirrels, toddler, types
Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

4 weeks ago

anxiety, dumb, funny observation, humor, irony, observation, people, shy, social, social anxiety, why, wit
If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

1 month ago

ankle, enough, FitBit, fitness, give, humor, irony, joke, just, steal, tech

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Trending via Pinterest:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Spotted on Telegram:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Trending via Telegram:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Live now on Reddit:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Spotted on Slack:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Just shared via Twitch:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏