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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Trending via Instagram:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Just landed via Discord:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔👻 "Probably! Remember the great 'Coffee Spill of '09'? Now *that* was terrifying!" ☕😱

event, ever, fear, future, history, i, moment, scariest, scariest moment, suspense, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

0

2 months ago

growth, humor, i, mind, mistake, reflection, today, wisdom, yesterday
Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

0

5 months ago

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang
Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

0

2 months ago

age, am, annoying, getting, humor, i, just, observation, old, people, sarcasm
I need money, not feelings.

0

2 months ago

advice, feeling, financial, financial needs, humor, life, life advice, money, need, needs, priorities, sarcasm
I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

0

2 months ago

1999, bills, finances, humor, i, nostalgia, party, pay, responsibility, want
Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

0

2 months ago

challenge, eat, food, food challenge, gang, gang initiation, humor, initiation, Midwest, potato, potato salad, regional, regional stereotype, salad, stereotype

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Just shared via TikTok:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Spotted on Reddit:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Spotted on Discord:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Trending via WeChat:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

I need money, not feelings.

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨