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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Trending via Pinterest:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔👻 "Probably! Remember the great 'Coffee Spill of '09'? Now *that* was terrifying!" ☕😱

event, ever, fear, future, history, i, moment, scariest, scariest moment, suspense, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

1 month ago
awkwardness, conversation, date, flirting, humor, i, relationship, skills, social, social skills, suck
Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

1 month ago
awesome, February, getting, humor, January, month, over, reward, rude, sarcasm, winter
Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

1 month ago
call, calls, distracting, everyone, finds, home, humor, office, outside, singing, video, video call, work, work from home, Zoom
I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

2 months ago
apology, awkward, awkward moment, bite, flirt, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, moment, relationship, sorry, trying
“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

1 month ago
age, dumbest, ever, humor, i, life, life stage, nostalgia, older, regret, said, stage, thing, wait, wisdom, youth
Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

1 month ago
advice, health, i, properly, relationship, request, sleep, walk, walks

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Going viral on Telegram:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Just shared via X:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Making waves on WeChat:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

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Activity Log ✨

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

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I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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