If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Commentary:
Oh, the scandalous secret life of calculators! 😂🧮 Imagine the questionable calculations it has witnessed… If only it could spill the beans like a browser history! 🕵️‍♂️ Just what kind of math mischief have you been up to? 🤔🤫

, , , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

    Commentary:
    “Repetition is the key to remembering apparently… Wait, what was I saying again? 🤔🔁 #MemoryIssues”

  • 50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

    Commentary:
    “Parenting is like a never-ending game of ‘Stairmaster: Toddler Edition’ 🚼🚶‍♂️ Is that noise a sign of imminent disaster or just another false alarm? 😅🔊 #ParentingDilemmas”

  • Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

    Commentary:
    Ah, yes, the exquisite culinary masterpiece! 🍜🍝 Ramen, the anime spaghetti – taking your taste buds on a flavorful journey through the whimsical world of Japanese cuisine. It’s like a delicious animated version of Italian pasta, with a side order of quirky characters and magical seasonings! Who knew that noodles could be this full of drama and flavor? 🌟😄

  • It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the harsh reality of adulting: realizing that not all grown-ups are as smart as they seemed when we were young 🧠💡. It’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when you start to suspect that your childhood heroes might have just been winging it all along! 🤷‍♂️🙈 #AdultingIsHard”

  • I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

    Commentary:
    Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it’s all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes

  • My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

    Commentary:
    Looks like it’s time for the annual “Mom’s Opinion Convention” to kick off! 🎉 Get ready for a weekend filled with expert advice on everything from cooking to relationships. 🍝💑 Remember, resistance is futile – just nod and smile! 😂👩‍👧‍👦 #MomKnowsBest