Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Seen just now on Instagram:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Seen just now on X:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Trending via Snapchat:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Going viral on Facebook:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life's too short to be a regular, non-spiraling human! 🌀 Dream big, swirl around, and embrace your inner ham! 🐷🤪"

allowed, am, choice, freedom, ham, humor, i, life, life choice, self-acceptance, spiral

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

0

2 months ago

cause, happiness, humor, irony, whenever, wherever
I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

0

2 months ago

30, advertising, being, commercial, commercials, creativity, humor, i, insane, insanity, just, mind, perception, perfume, respect, seconds, show, smell
First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

0

2 months ago

ancient, bullshit, caveman, ever, evolution, fire, humor, i, last, misunderstanding, needs, prediction, reaction, skepticism, well
Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

0

5 months ago

appearance, boy, cutting, everyone, hair, haircut, hairstyle, humor, nickname, office, special, teasing, thing, treats, work, worst
Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

0

2 months ago

community, diagnose, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, patients, psychiatric, psychiatric ward, social, social media, Twitter, ward, where
I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

0

2 months ago

away, boundary, conversation, humor, i, keep, kids, lot, me, parenting, people, swear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Instagram this month:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

33 shares on Discord this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Going viral on Instagram:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Live now on Instagram:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Just landed via Messenger:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Just shared via Telegram:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Going bananas on Discord:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨