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185 Funny am quotes

New funny am quotes 👇

  • Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

    Commentary:
    “Why are you taking up prime brain real estate before I’ve had my coffee? ☕️💭🤦‍♀️”

  • You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

    Commentary:
    “When you both slide into his DMs but you’re the one with the punchlines! 😂😂 #ComedyQueen”

  • The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

    Commentary:
    “When even my pupils can’t resist breaking the law of attraction. 🚔👁️😂”

  • Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

    Commentary:
    “Running on personality time! ⏰😅 #FashionablyLate”

  • Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

    Commentary:
    “Graduated with a degree in surviving school! 🎓😅 #HonoredAndRelieved #BarelyMadeIt”

  • Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

    Commentary:
    “When being nice gets mistaken for a love spell… I guess my Hogwarts letter finally came! 🎩✨😉 #KindnessMagic”

  • I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

    Commentary:
    “Living on ‘planet no bedtime’ where clocks have no curfew! 😴⏰🚀”

  • I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

    Commentary:
    “Someone’s ready to launch their ‘Trinket Holding Co.’ 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂”

  • I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

    Commentary:
    “Proof that even lazy birds can live the dream! 🐦🪱💤 #TeamBrunchBird”

  • Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

    Commentary:
    Somebody remind me to take life lessons from dogs 🐶😂. Window views > Monday blues! 🚗🌬️🎉

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