Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Trending via Telegram:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Trending via Pinterest:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Making waves on Facebook:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Going bananas on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, nothing says 'unique' quite like making someone cry in a sea of smiles. 😄😭 #StandOut"

cry, different, girl, humor, love, relationship, smile

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

2 months ago

accessory, attitude, communication, fashion, front, got, humor, important, listen, say, shirt, something, style, sunglasses, wardrobe
Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

4 months ago

bad, bad decision, being, craving, decision, ever, every, fairy, fairy tale, food, food craving, Gretel, Hansel, humor, hunger, hungry, mistake, snack, started, tale, wrong
Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

2 months ago

billion, billion dollar, dollar, frustration, humor, idea, invention, printer, technology, works
Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

2 months ago

casual, eating, fat, food, guy, hand, hands, humor, laziness, lazy, political, rice, self-deprecation
I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

2 months ago

assistance, butler, chef, domestic, domestic help, help, humor, i, luxury, maid, need, professional, professional help, should, think
I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

2 months ago

approachable, carrying, food, humor, interaction, joke, nachos, perfectly, plate, snack, social, social interaction

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

79 shares on X this month:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Going viral on Discord:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Live now on Reddit:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Going viral on X:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Going viral on YouTube:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Seen just now on Messenger:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨