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Oh, if only blending in with walls was an Olympic sport, I'd be a gold medalist! 🤣🏅 But hey, don't be too jealous of my ghostly glow – it's my superpower! 💁‍♂️ Who needs a tan when you can blind people with your radiance, am I right? 😂 #PaleAndProud

humor, joke, me, pale, reply, response, shocked, someone, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

1 month ago
communication, digital, digital humor, emoji, humor, sarcasm, serious, seriousness, show, texting, using, while
I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

4 months ago
awkwardness, dentist, embarrassment, hate, humiliating, humor, i, pants, taking
I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

1 month ago
animal, animal humor, ever, everyone, experience, feel, hamster, humor, i, kind, pet, traumatic, traumatic experience
I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

1 month ago
chores, doing, humor, i, laundry, me, no one, procrastination, relatable
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

2 months ago
accident, crime, date, humor, joke, me, playful, relationship, romance, trust, well
After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

1 month ago
after, ban, book, books, censorship, fruit, humor, irony, move, satire, suggestive

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Spotted on Threads:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Making waves on Telegram:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Trending via Threads:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Going viral on Discord:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Just shared via TikTok:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

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If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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