Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Just landed via YouTube:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Live now on WeChat:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Trending via YouTube:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Trending via Reddit:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Spotted on Twitch:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Trending via Instagram:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Just shared via Reddit:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet sound of silence! It seems opinions are like bad breath – best kept to oneself. Unless you've got a mint, of course."

advice, humor, life, mouth, opinion, sarcasm, self-expression

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

1

2 months ago

animal, death, die, donation, donor, elephant, humor, i, lighthearted, new, organ, organ donor, trunk, want
Coffee is just goth water.

0

2 months ago

beverage, coffee, dark, goth, humor, just, water
Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, career, freedom, having, humor, job, passion, quitting, true
I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

0

5 months ago

anyone, anything, communication, emoji, expression, humor, interaction, introvert, pretty, say, social, social interaction, sure, technology
Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

0

2 months ago

am, cartoon, celebrate, Christmas, Flintstones, holiday, humor, i, irony, time, time travel, travel, wonder
Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

0

24 hours ago

2, ago, cancellation, event, excuse, friend, going, humor, invitation, invite, months, people, plan, plans, sarcasm, social, social event, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Reddit this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

83 shares on Discord this month:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

30 shares on X this month:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Been getting really into nothing.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Making waves on Twitch:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Live now on X:

The shitshow must go on.

Going viral on Telegram:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Trending via Instagram:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Just shared via TikTok:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Freshly posted on X:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Coffee is just goth water.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨