Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.
  • Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.
  • I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.
  • What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?
  • Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.
  • They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.