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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: Can martial arts skills double as a form of payment? 💸💥 Just imagine casually busting out a roundhouse kick at the checkout counter – 'payment received!' 😂 Who knew self-defense training could save us some cash! 🥋💰"

humor, joke, karate, know, money, pay, self-defense, stuff

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People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

1 month ago

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Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

1 month ago

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I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

1 month ago

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Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

1 month ago

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When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

1 month ago

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I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

1 month ago

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

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Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

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Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

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My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

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Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

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You can reach me by butterfly.

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I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Spotted on Twitch:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Shared recently on Discord:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

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I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Trending via Threads:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

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If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

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If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

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