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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Shared recently on X:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Making waves on Twitch:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Just shared via Messenger:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Breaking via Instagram:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Trending via TikTok:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about tough days for guys, with a humorous, no-nonsense vibe.

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Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just pretend they're limes and make a margarita—no one will notice! 🍋🍹😎

bad, bad day, day, dude, having, humor, indifference, just, remember

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36 shares on YouTube this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

21 shares on X this month:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

90 shares on Slack this month:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

61 shares on Slack this month:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Going viral on Slack:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Spotted on Telegram:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Trending via WeChat:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Spotted on X:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

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Activity Log ✨

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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