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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,026

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Freshly posted on Discord:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Broadcasted on X:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Spotted on Discord:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Excel-erating my wild side! 📊😜 #SpreadsheetSavage"

data, freak, geek, humor, nerd, office, spreadsheet, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

1 month ago
annoyance, hearing, humor, just, name, nauseous, people, relationships, sarcasm
My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

1 month ago
dogs, earthquakes, feel, gas, humor, pets
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

1 month ago
comedy, distraction, humor, leave, mind, thought, wander
My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

2 months ago
aging, body, cracks, every, fitness, glow, glow stick, humor, i, light, move, noise, pain, stick, time
At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

1 month ago
appointment, blood, blood pressure, doctor, end, humor, irony, medical, own, pressure, self-care
Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

1 month ago
advice, apart, breath, deep, deep breath, falling, feel, feeling, humor, life, life advice, perspective, remember, right, take, whenever, world

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Making waves on YouTube:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Spotted on X:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Just shared via Instagram:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Going bananas on Discord:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

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I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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