Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Spotted on TikTok:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Making waves on Slack:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Trending via Instagram:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Spotted on TikTok:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Just landed via X:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your wallet has commitment issues: "Sorry, I'm financially grounded right now! 💸➡️📅"

broke, got, i, money, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, awake, baby, first year, humor, just, life, much, parent, parenting, year
Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

0

2 months ago

activity, box, childhood, fresh, fun, fun activity, jump, knees, nostalgia, play, remember, swing, used
Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

0

2 months ago

apparently, balls, frustration, humor, office, office humor, people, relief, stress, stress balls, stress relief, throwing, workplace
Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, day, humor, introvert, irony, leave, me, peace, self-care, today, wonderful
Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

0

2 months ago

alan, Alan Rickman, around, avoiding, die, Die Hard, hard, harry, Harry Potter, humor, movie, night, opinion, potter, rickman, sneaking, tower, unpopular
That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

0

2 months ago

after, early, fatigue, morning, nap, rest, second, sleep, snooze, tiredness, too, waking, waking up, wave

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨