Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Come on over and let's be antisocial together! 📱😂 Who needs face-to-face conversations when we've got phone screens to keep us company, am I right? #ModernGathering"

fun, gathering, humor, invite, later, party, people, phones, social, stare, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

0

2 months ago

appointment, dental, dentist, humor, joke, late, me, should, start, tell
Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

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2 months ago

bad, bad mood, baggage, feelings, humor, mood, multi-day, tour, travel, yesterday
A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

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2 months ago

2, advice, clumsiness, guide, head, hit, humor, joke, mind, reaction, say, someone, wait, warning
The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

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5 months ago

entertainment, humor, i, issue, issues, list, Netflix, recommendation, streaming, trust, trust issue, why
You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

0

2 months ago

drug, humor, me, moron, oxy, surprise, telling
To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

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2 months ago

act, Hamlet, humor, irony, line, minimalism, refusal, sarcasm, scene, Shakespeare

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on TikTok this month:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

26 shares on X this month:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Going viral on Facebook:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Just shared via Instagram:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Just landed via Instagram:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨