27 funny phones quotes - Wordgag

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

May 29, 2026

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

May 29, 2026

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

May 28, 2026

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

May 27, 2026

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

May 27, 2026

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

May 27, 2026

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

May 26, 2026

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

May 26, 2026

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

May 26, 2026

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

May 25, 2026

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

May 24, 2026

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

May 23, 2026

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

May 23, 2026

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

May 23, 2026

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

May 23, 2026

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

May 23, 2026

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

May 22, 2026

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

May 22, 2026

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

May 22, 2026

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

May 22, 2026

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

May 21, 2026

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

May 21, 2026

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

May 19, 2026

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

May 19, 2026

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

May 18, 2026

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

May 18, 2026

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Apr 1, 2026