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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

13 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Shared recently on Discord:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Trending via Discord:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Freshly posted on X:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Going viral on Slack:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Making waves on Threads:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

6 months ago

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic passive-cleaner dilemma! 🙈 It's like a love-hate relationship with the mess, huh? Your house is doing its own little dance party while you give it side-eye from the comfort of your couch. Who will emerge victorious in the battle of wills – you or the mess? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Domestic Drama'! 🏠🧹"

clean, cleanliness, couch, disgusted, disgusted stare, hate, home, house, humor, i, laziness, messy, messy house, procrastination, relax, stare

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

13 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Live now on Twitch:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Just landed via Facebook:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Reported on Threads:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Reported on WeChat:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

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