I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

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“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

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I need a break from me.

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That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

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I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

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The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

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Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

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Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

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Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

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Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!