Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🛣️🏡 "I'm not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway! Who knew being a driveway parent could be so tough? Guess I'll stick to keeping my roads less traveled for now!" 😄

adopt, driveway, highway, humor, i, own, raise, ready, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

1 month ago

addiction, addiction recovery, caught, colada, getting, great, humor, meet, meet people, people, piña, piña colada, place, rain, recovery, reference, rehab, socializing, song, song reference
Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

1 month ago

addiction, consequences, drug, drug tests, drugs, humor, irony, lif, ruin, society, tests
Come on, karma, do your job.

1 month ago

come on, expectation, humor, irony, job, karma
For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

1 month ago

adventure, another, future, humor, i, planet, ticket, travel, wish
Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

1 month ago

better, casual, casual conversation, conversation, day, ever, fashion, humor, let, me, outfit, procrastination, relatable, same, save
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

4 weeks ago

boys, city, culture, even, fantasy, fantasy humor, Gandalf, geek, geek humor, girls, green, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, me, Moria, nope, parody, pop, pop culture, rings, said, satire, take, too, where

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Threads this month:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Live now on WeChat:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Going viral on Instagram:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Come on, karma, do your job.

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨