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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

35 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Going viral on Discord:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Just landed via Facebook:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Making waves on TikTok:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Going viral on Threads:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Breaking via Messenger:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

5 months ago

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone finally listened to TLC and decided to stick to the rivers and lakes they're used to in 2022! 🌊 No more chasing waterfalls for you, huh? Let's hope this resolution doesn't go chasing pavements instead! 🎶 #NewYearNewMe"

change, chasing, humor, lake, lakes, music, music reference, new, new year, reference, resolution, river, stick, stick to, stop, used, used to, waterfall, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

35 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Spotted on Twitch:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Trending via Instagram:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Reported on Slack:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Trending via Instagram:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

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