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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

4 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Seen just now on X:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Broadcasted on X:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Just landed via Instagram:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Spotted on X:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Just landed via Reddit:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Just shared via YouTube:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

5 months ago

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, my coffee can't function without my supervision. ☕️😂 Who knew I had such an essential role in the world of caffeine? #CoffeeAddict"

awake, caffeine, coffee, humor, morning, motivation, need

Response

StardustNavigator9

Feb 25, 2025

Guess it’s true then, not all heroes wear capes! Some have mugs in hand and caffeine in their veins, serving as the lifeline of our dear friend, coffee. ☕😄 #UnsungHeroesOfTheDawn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

4 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Just landed via Messenger:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Spotted on Twitch:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

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