Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Making waves on Discord:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Seen just now on Messenger:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Going bananas on X:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Just landed via Telegram:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Live now on Facebook:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me: 'Oops, missed it again' *rewinds for the 5th time* 🎵🔄😂"

appreciation, distracted, distraction, enough, got, i, music, person, personality, relatable, restart, song

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

0

2 months ago

enough, friends, humor, i, intervention, life, loneliness, luck, lucky, me, social, social life
Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, big, choice, choose, decision, decision making, humor, nightmare, procrastination, quick, quick choice, sleep, stress
Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

0

2 months ago

association, color, color association, comparison, explain, flavor, flavor comparison, grape, grape flavor, grape soda, humor, humor in taste, i, know, perception, purple, sensory, sensory perception, soda, taste
Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, biology, bit, body, chemistry, chemistry lab, emotion, feel, feeling, human, lab, little, me, meat, nervous, pretty, reason, simply
I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

0

2 months ago

driving, humor, i, overtaking, people, reason, road, sarcasm, speed, traffic, why
I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

0

2 months ago

dosage, health, humor, i, irony, meds, mental, mental health, positivity, raise, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Going viral on WeChat:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Spotted on Instagram:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Trending via X:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Spotted on Instagram:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Seen just now on X:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Spotted on Discord:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨