Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

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There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

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I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

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I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

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People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

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I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.