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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Just shared via X:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Spotted on Telegram:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Just shared via Slack:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Breaking via Reddit:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That fan really knows how to keep things cool! 😎💨❤️

bedroom, fan, humor, joke, love, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

2 months ago

Cheeto, contrast, crumbs, humor, lady, lifestyle, sheets, snack, streets
I love hard, but I stupid harder.

2 months ago

emotion, exaggeration, hard, harder, humor, i, love, relationship, self-deprecating, stupid, wit
The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

2 months ago

common, common sense, deal, downside, frustration, having, humor, irony, lack, sense, wit
Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

4 months ago

airfare, expense, expensive, give, going, humor, joke, just, me, plane, plane ticket, ride, ticket, tickets, transportation, travel, why
Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

2 months ago

boring, humor, light, light show, lights, nature, night, phenomenon, polar, polar light, show, sky
Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

2 months ago

activity, arts, chi, crazy, exercise, funny activity, humor, martial, martial arts, motion, slow, slow motion, tai, Tai Chi, tantrum, throwing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

90 shares on Slack this month:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

55 shares on X this month:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

22 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Just landed via Reddit:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Just shared via Reddit:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Just landed via Telegram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨