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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

52 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Just landed via Facebook:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Reported on Snapchat:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Seen just now on Threads:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Just landed via X:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

6 months ago

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎉👏 Sounds like therapy is definitely a long-term commitment now! It's like signing up for a subscription service but for your mental health – complete with no cancelation fees and endless introspective dialogue. Here's to many more sessions of self-discovery and personal growth! 🛋️💭

4, commitment, congrats, contract, humor, me, news, relationship, therapist, therapy, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

52 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Trending via Reddit:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Just landed via Reddit:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Shared recently on WeChat:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Spotted on TikTok:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Breaking via YouTube:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Just landed via Instagram:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

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