Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.
  • I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.
  • Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.
  • Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”
  • Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.
  • I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.