Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
  • The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.
  • Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.
  • I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.
  • It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
  • Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.