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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Breaking via YouTube:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Just landed via WeChat:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Just shared via Reddit:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Live now on Facebook:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Making waves on Instagram:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Trending via X:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

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It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”
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Commentary:
😂 Well, that's one way to flip things around! 🔄 Guess it really is "no parts" for turning back! 😜🔙

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

88 shares on Slack this month:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Live now on WeChat:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Spotted on Messenger:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Spotted on Discord:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

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