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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Trending via Twitch:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Trending via Slack:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Going viral on Discord:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting buff and dusting: my two-part struggle is basically an Olympic event now! 🏋️‍♂️🏠😅

clean, clean house, effort, fitness, having, house, housekeeping, humor, lifestyle, mid-physique, much, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

1 month ago
anxiety, funny situation, give, humor, joke, just, me, panic, panic room, quick, quick response, response, room, second, situation
Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, event, everyone, fact, fun, fun fact, gangster, humor, icebreaker, moment, reveal, self-disclosure, work, work event
The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

1 month ago
communication, concern, distraction, humor, joke, lion, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, office, productivity, Teams, workplace
When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

2 months ago
expand, fitness, gaining, getting, hot, humor, just, perspective, self-acceptance, things, warm, weight
Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

4 months ago
courtroom, culture, dance, defense, hammer, honor, humor, i, impression, joke, legal, misunderstanding, pop, pop culture, time, under
And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

1 month ago
awkward, awkward situation, conversation, financial, financial stability, humor, joke, money, right, room, situation, stability, us

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Going viral on WeChat:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Just shared via Pinterest:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

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Activity Log ✨

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

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It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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