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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Maybe your soulmateโ€™s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

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Iโ€™ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Iโ€™ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Commentary:
"Who needs sports cars when you can get your adrenaline rush from spotting a rare blue-footed booby? ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ‘€ The only speeding this person is doing now is to catch sight of the elusive toucan! ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ #BirdLover #MidlifeBirding"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today couldโ€™ve been Friday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

I donโ€™t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.