28 funny gone quotes - Wordgag

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

May 19, 2026

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

May 19, 2026

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

May 19, 2026

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

May 19, 2026

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

May 18, 2026

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Apr 1, 2026

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Apr 1, 2026

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Apr 1, 2026

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Apr 1, 2026

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Apr 1, 2026

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Mar 31, 2026

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Mar 31, 2026

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Mar 31, 2026

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Mar 31, 2026

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Mar 31, 2026

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Mar 30, 2026

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Mar 29, 2026

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Mar 27, 2026

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Mar 27, 2026

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Mar 26, 2026

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Mar 26, 2026

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Mar 26, 2026

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Mar 26, 2026

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Mar 26, 2026

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Mar 25, 2026

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Mar 25, 2026

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Mar 25, 2026

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Mar 25, 2026