Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Shared recently on X:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Breaking via Slack:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Just landed via X:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Spotted on X:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Just shared via YouTube:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Making waves on Messenger:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Witty quote about individuality and usefulness, humorous and playful in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks, being unique is cool and all, but if you can't hang a shelf straight or find your keys, your friends might start questioning your usefulness 🤷‍♂️🔑#SpecialButPracticallyUseless"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

77 shares on Slack this month:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

74 shares on WeChat this month:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Shared recently on Discord:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Spotted on Threads:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Making waves on Facebook:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Seen just now on X:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

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