Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Kim Kardashian planning to have her ashes scattered at sea? 🌊 Talk about blending in seamlessly with the plastic! ♻️ Maybe she'll finally have that oceanfront property she always wanted. 🏝️😂"

celebrity, death, environment, humor, Kardashian, kim, Kim Kardashian, plastic, sea

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, analogy, bed, comparison, dog, funny analogy, gas, gas station, hot, hot dog, human, humor, i, self-deprecating, station, stop, tanning, tanning bed, thinking, version
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

0

5 months ago

acting, always, forget, humor, i, line, performance, stage, world
I’ve named my couch American Idle.

0

2 months ago

American, American Idle, couch, furniture, humor, idle, laziness, pun, relaxation
I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, diet, finance, health, humor, i, joke, loss, Ozempic, taking, think, weight, weight loss
Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

0

2 months ago

5, back, dating, disappointment, humor, joke, key, Mambo, me, minor, music, music parody, musical, musical joke, naming, parody, relationships, text, texting, women
That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

0

2 months ago

break, cancel, canceled, free, free time, gift, gods, humor, meeting, ping, relief, surprise, time, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

58 shares on Slack this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Shared recently on Threads:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Making waves on Twitch:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Going viral on WeChat:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨