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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Spotted on Reddit:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Going viral on Reddit:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

2 months ago

0

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Leggings: the versatile fashion piece that either elevates your style to chic elegance or transforms you into a majestic elephant 🐘👖 Who says fashion can't be fun and a little bit wild?"

body, body image, clothing, elegant, elephant, fashion, humor, image, leggings, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, glasses, life, people, social media, sunglasses
(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

0

2 months ago

confusion, humor, i, just, know, myself, self, self-talk, talk, talking, talking to myself, tell
I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

0

2 months ago

always, am, confirm, confirmation, door, doors, dumb, humor, i, pull, push, self-deprecation, three, times
Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

0

2 months ago

ability, algorithm, betterment, chance, humanity, only, people, please, post, psionic, psionic ability, show
All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

0

2 months ago

bizarre, dark, dark humor, die, German, German word, goals, gruesome, humor, i, life, life goals, live, live well, only, want, well, word
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

0

2 weeks ago

attitude, check, complaint, complaints, contact, daughter, humor, i, manufacturer, parent-child, please, response, told, witty, witty response

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

62 shares on Threads this month:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

78 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,372

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Going viral on Slack:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Trending via Messenger:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Broadcasted on Slack:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Trending via Twitch:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

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