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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Going viral on TikTok:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Spotted on Twitch:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Going viral on Twitch:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

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Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.
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Commentary:
"Looks like Mama's fool-proof plan had a clever twist! 🤪🃏 #SelfMadeFool #BlameItOnMyself"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

95 shares on YouTube this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

56 shares on Discord this month:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Trending via Discord:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Just shared via Discord:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Going viral on Telegram:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Trending via Twitch:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

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