Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.