Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Going viral on TikTok:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When even Mother Earth wants to shake things up during your downtime! 🌍🛌😂

earthquake, event, humor, interruption, me, rest, tired, trying, unexpected, unexpected event

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

2 months ago

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa
Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

2 months ago

ask, eyes, heart, heart eyes, humor, i, jealousy, missionary, relationship, texting, trust, work
Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

2 months ago

chore, daughter, dishwasher, empty, family, humor, just, parenting, please, pray, prayer, tired, yesterday
I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

2 months ago

alert, bracelet, ever, humor, i, irony, just, life, life alert, notification, notified, self-deprecation
When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

2 months ago

adorable, animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, circling, fluffy, food, humor, round, shark
The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

2 months ago

beauty, boy, gender, humor, just, perception, sorry, stereotype, thing, ugly, used, women, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Slack this month:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

37 shares on Discord this month:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

30 shares on X this month:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Shared recently on Threads:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Trending via Slack:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Just shared via Reddit:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Live now on Discord:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨