Commentary:
Sounds like your phone decided to have its own "adult education" curriculum 📅🍿🔞😂
116 Funny unexpected quotes
You’ll be having the worst time of your life, and someone will video call you.
Commentary:
Ah yes, nothing like getting caught in a surprise episode of "Zoom & Gloom" 😂📱💔
Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.
Commentary:
Life's aiming for a fruit salad chaos, armed with watermelons instead of lemons! 🍉😅🍋
Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.
Commentary:
When even Mother Earth wants to shake things up during your downtime! 🌍🛌😂
And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.
Commentary:
When life decided to go full blockbuster mode, popcorn was not enough 🍿😂🍺
Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.
Commentary:
Guess my drumming wasn't a soundproof success story after all! 🥁😴🔔
(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.
Commentary:
When you really hit it off with someone new but they’ve got career commitments. 😂🔪💔
The world started without permission again.
Commentary:
When you're just not ready for the universe to hit the snooze button 😂🌍☕
You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.
We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.
Commentary:
Guess I'll have to settle for a snowcone instead of a cake slice 😂☃️🍰