Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

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Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

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I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

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Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

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A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

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My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

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That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

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Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.