Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Spotted on Discord:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Going viral on Telegram:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Just shared via WeChat:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Breaking via Twitch:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Just landed via YouTube:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mondays are like ninjas trained in mental judo 🤺🧠💥

arts, belt, black, black belt, fight, humor, martial, martial arts, Monday, motivation, psychological, psychological warfare, stress, warfare, workweek

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

0

2 months ago

date, deal, expiry, humor, i, patience, payback, ready, revenge, timing
Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

0

2 months ago

attention, cost, financial, humor, i, joke, pay, poor, self-deprecation, sorry, witty
I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other
If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

0

3 weeks ago

broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker
The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, blow-dryer, convenience, free, frustration, hotel, humor, travel
I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

0

2 months ago

canceling, commitment, different, different person, expectations, humor, i, ID, last, person, plans, procrastination, self-improvement, sorry, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

82 shares on Threads this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

99 shares on Twitch this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Making waves on Threads:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Going viral on Twitch:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Trending via Snapchat:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Making waves on Twitch:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Going viral on Messenger:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨