Muting morons is good for your health.

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When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

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The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

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If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.