My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Commentary:
“Ah, the sweet sounds of summer: the buzz of mystery insects joining the party in your living room 🦗🪰 Just nature’s way of saying, ‘Hey, don’t forget about me!’ 🌿🏡 #SummerSurprises”

, , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

    Commentary:
    “Me at the end of the day: ‘I’m tired…’ 😪💤 But let’s be real, we all know the real culprit here is people. 🙄😂 #IntrovertLife”

  • I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like patience weighs more than we thought! 🤣 Maybe try a ‘lose your patience’ diet next time, it seems more effective! 🍩🕰️ #DietFail”

  • Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

    Commentary:
    “Isn’t it ironic that ‘gross pay’ seems much less appealing once the tax takes a bite? It’s like biting into what you thought was a delicious donut only to find out it’s actually a broccoli 😂💸 #TaxTimeBlues”

  • When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

    Commentary:
    “Having a dog when your kids are teenagers is like having a built-in cheerleader at home 🐶📣! At least someone will wag their tail and greet you with excitement when you walk through the door! Parenting win! 😂”

  • Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like Earth needed to work on its selfie game… Or maybe it was just having a bad hair day ☹️🌎 #ToughCrowd #BooedByTheAliens”

  • The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

    Commentary:
    “Apparently, online recipes didn’t get the memo about the part where they’re supposed to magically cook themselves and deliver to your doorstep like a culinary fairy godmother 🧚‍♂️🍴 #CookingStruggles”