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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Trending via Instagram:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Breaking via Messenger:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Seen just now on Messenger:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Seen just now on X:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you’re looking for a unicorn that moonlights as a stand-up comedian 🦄🎤

freak, humor, ideal, ideal man, kindhearted, little, man, personality, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

0

2 months ago

away, chess, eating, every, humor, look away, pieces, strategy, time
World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

0

2 months ago

domination, even, humor, i, myself, responsibility, self, want, world, world domination
The future is buffering.

0

2 months ago

buffering, future, humor, joke, procrastination, technology
I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

0

2 months ago

attitude, forced, humor, interaction, liking, media, online, online interaction, posting, posts, problem, sarcasm, self-confidence, social, social media
“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

0

2 months ago

communication, flirt, girl, God, good, humor, irony, skills
New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

0

2 months ago

auto, Covid, humor, insurance, joke, new, pandemic, satire, sell, variant, warranty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

85 shares on Threads this month:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

23 shares on X this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Just shared via Slack:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Just landed via Threads:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Shared recently on X:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Seen just now on Discord:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

The future is buffering.

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨