My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.