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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Live now on TikTok:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Going viral on Twitch:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Going viral on Pinterest:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about a cluttered mind, with multiple tabs, frozen thoughts, and confusing music.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the chaotic symphony of the modern mind! 🤯🎶 Just like a web browser with tabs galore, we navigate through the endless labyrinth of thoughts, with some frozen in confusion and a mysterious soundtrack playing in the background. 🕸️💭🎵 Embrace the pandemonium, for it is the soundtrack of creativity in full swing! 😅🎭 #MultitaskingMaster

browser, confusion, frozen, humor, i, idea, mind, multitasking, music, open, tabs, technology, web, web browser

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on YouTube this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

20 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

43 shares on Discord this month:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Trending via YouTube:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Spotted on X:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

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