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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Going viral on Reddit:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Just shared via Discord:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Making waves on Threads:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Live now on Twitch:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Breaking via Facebook:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

1 month ago

Playful quote about a cluttered mind, with multiple tabs, frozen thoughts, and confusing music.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the chaotic symphony of the modern mind! 🤯🎶 Just like a web browser with tabs galore, we navigate through the endless labyrinth of thoughts, with some frozen in confusion and a mysterious soundtrack playing in the background. 🕸️💭🎵 Embrace the pandemonium, for it is the soundtrack of creativity in full swing! 😅🎭 #MultitaskingMaster

browser, confusion, frozen, humor, i, idea, mind, multitasking, music, open, tabs, technology, web, web browser

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

1 month ago

40, 50, age, having, humor, new, perception, police, say, time, traffic, traffic police
I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

3 weeks ago

bet, couple, feels, humor, i, incredible, irony, medieval, pain, rack, relief, seconds, sensation, stretcher, torture, where
Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

4 weeks ago

actor, cruise, fame, going, Hollywood, humor, joke, movy, retirement, run, tom, Tom Cruise
Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

1 month ago

always, good, good thing, humor, joke, late, procrastination, punctuality, take, thing, things, time, why
My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

1 month ago

delicious, delicious food, food, food lover, future, future husband, humor, hunger, hungry, husband, i, know, lover, lucky, never, relationship, restaurant, restaurants, stay
I have a very active anti-social life.

3 weeks ago

active, anti-social, humor, i, introvert, life, social, social life

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Going viral on Facebook:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Breaking via YouTube:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

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