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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ĻðŸ‡ŧ has copied:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from ðŸ‡ē🇊 has shared:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇧🇞 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from ðŸ‡ąðŸ‡š has shared:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇚ðŸ‡ū has shared:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇎🇊 has downloaded:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļ🇰 has viewed:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģ🇷 has copied:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇧ðŸ‡ū has bookmarked:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģ🇊 has copied:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,049

Funny Quotes Topics

13,986

Funny Quotes Images

11,049

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Reported on Threads:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Trending via Instagram:

“It’s all in your head.” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Just landed via TikTok:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Reported on Twitch:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Just landed via Facebook:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Going viral on Facebook:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Home Âŧ Funny Open Quotes

53 Funny open quotes

Funny open quotes 🎉 are like the confetti 🎊 of conversation, sprinkling humor and wit into everyday chats! They’re the perfect icebreakers 😂, turning awkward silences into bursts of laughter. Whether you’re catching up with friends or need a clever retort in a text, these gems 💎 bring smiles and laughter to any moment. Ready to dive into a world where words tickle your funny bone? Let’s get giggling! ðŸĪŠ

New funny open quotes 👇

For even more funny open quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny open quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌ïļ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂ðŸ’Ĩ

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes ðŸ”Ĩ

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,049

Funny Quotes Topics

13,986

Funny Quotes Images

11,049

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from 🇚🇎 has bookmarked:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģ🇊 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģ🇎 has viewed:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇧🇞 has viewed:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from ðŸ‡ŋ🇞 has copied:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇎🇊 has copied:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇧ðŸ‡Ķ has bookmarked:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from ðŸ‡ąðŸ‡Ķ has viewed:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩðŸ‡ū has shared:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡ŋ has copied:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Trending via WeChat:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Making waves on Instagram:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Reported on Instagram:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Going viral on TikTok:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Just shared via Snapchat:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Seen just now on X:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

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